dressrebeccajean.com

Shimmer Sequin Shift Dress

Advantages: can you beat a sequin shift? i venture to think not. you get to wear sequins and be comfortable at the same time without displaying any imperfections. there is nothing better that comfortably sparkling. that sentence is so true,  i feel like it's the highlight of my writing life.  toot toot. 

Disadvantages: i want to see it on a human. buy it and show me how it looks please. 

Sequin T-Shirt Dress

Advantages: another mullett dress. we love those. this one is party in the front, lay-on-your-couch in the back. 

Disadvantages: i like 360 degrees of sequins. 

ps. i just realized this is remarkably similar to what i posted on Wednesday. apologies, i promise i'm not a one trick pony. i'm just four and like sparkles. but, i'll try to show you something real weird next week to keep you on your toes. 

xoxo, 
rebecca

ASOS SALON Neon Mesh Midi Dress

Advantages: ASOS SALON in their words: "a new collection from ASOS that fuses vintage silhouettes with floral appliqués and flashes of color, creating a line of party wear that's fresh, modern and sexy, all at once."
ASOS SALON in my words: "you make me want to leave the one i'm with [ASOS], start a new relationship with youuuuuu. this is what you do." or that could be Usher, my brotha from anotha motha.  or not my brother at all but you gotta have a goal. do you have a goal?

Disadvantages: i'd venture to guess that waists in this dress are few and far between so if you're little in the middle but you got much back, you may end up looking ginormous.  however, if you have an Emma Watson type figure (i hate you) you may end up looking banging.

Midi Dress With Lace Paneling

Advantages: many dollars cheaper

Disadvantages: less dollars = less neon (i.e. zero neon) and when you cut the neon out, you cut my heart out.  you just cut it right out.  i'm flatlining in this dress.  this dress literally just killed me. 

have a great day!

jean

Mora Ruffle Bottom Dress

Advantages: at first i was really not feeling the drop waist fad but now it has me all hot and bothered. and this one has sequins. and Shopbop is having a sale. so now i'm at full on sensory overload. 

Disadvantages: for some of us, and i mean me, the drop waist is extremely unflattering. i kind of look like a girl wearing a dress for the first time when i put one on. and as an aspiring dress blogger, that's not really the look i want to put out there. 

Sequin Drop Waist Dress

Advantages: green sequins! you know how we love those. 

Disadvantages: i know it's supposed to be drop waist and i know that skirt is attached and i still keep wanting to pull it up. also, where's the poof in the skirt????? where are the ruffles??? how am i expected to wear this with a serious face?

love, 
rebecca

Linear Striped Cut Out Back Dress

Advantages: i know i know i know.  one is bronze, one is blue.  one has back cutouts, one has front cutouts.  i'm sure if you were playing one of those games where you circle all the differences you'd find 724.  however, i would like it noted that they're both a-line, striped, cutout, sleeveless dresses.  the Cameo version is really best from behind (ow owwww) as you can see below.

Disadvantages: it reminds me of Beetlejuice pants. and there is nothing. on this planet. i hate more. than. Beetlejuice. ET, the scariest movie ever made, comes in at a close second, followed by Groundhog Day (Rebecca is going to try and insert an editors note here about how much she loves that movie - VETO!!!!) and most Jim Carrey movies with the exception of Dumb and Dumber (duh).

editor's note: ummm and Liar Liar????

Stripe Cutout Sun Dress

Advantages: i really love this little $76 gem.  yes it looks even more like Beetlejuice pants than the Cameo one, but for some reason it just isn't nearly as creepy.  however, if when you sit you get rolls, you probably want to avoid this dress.  or, you could lean back in every chair you sit in while wearing it, so that your stomach is conveniently always flat.  speaking of weird things we did when we were younger, in middle school i would put my jeans on in the morning and then sit at an angle with my legs straight out during first period so that i wouldn't wrinkle or stretch them out.  i think this may have been before spandex was invented.  either way, i looked a fool both with my asseninely (editor's note: most definitely not a word) tight jeans and the way i awkwardly and uncomfortably lounged like i was a 6th grade gangsta. (which i wasn't by the way, because my mom would never let me get JNCOs no matter how many times i begged. apparently, adolescent drug use begins with giant pants.)

editor's note: what i neglected to tell you yesterday in the post that jean linked to above is that i also put chapstick on my forehead in the 4th grade because at that point i thought i looked better when i was shiny. after applying in the bathroom, i walked back in to class and within 30 seconds the person next to me asked if i put chapstick on my head. i obviously lied and said no. 

Disadvantages:  err, sorry, i think i got carried away and covered this in the advantages. so, to recap:
rolls + Beetlejuice + JNCOs = awkward, druggy dress.

xo,

jean

Crepe Cutout Embroidered Dress

Advantages: it's graduation season, which means if you have any graduations to attend that is one more occasion where it's acceptable to wear a white dress without making any lifetime commitments. in an act of selfless research, i tried this dress on and it's every bit as cute as it looks in the picture...

Disadvantages: but it's every bit as see through directly over your boobs as it looks. i don't really like it with that pink underneath either, so i suggest a nude something or other to create a nude-illusion. either that or you should just get comfortable with public nudity. 

White Cutwork Dress
Advantages: save $34 and give it to the graduate. 

Disadvantages: it kind of looks like the dress i wore as an actual graduate in high school. and i'd like to think i've made a little bit of progress in the last decade. but then again this morning consisted of me pressing snooze five times because 8:30 seemed preposterously early, leaving home with a bare face with the intention of putting make up on in the car, reaching a stop light and realizing i did not have my make up bag with  me, rummaging through  my purse to see what i had and ultimately deciding to rub chapstick on my cheeks as a form of blush. now i look very tired and very shiny. so how far could i have really come since 17?

top of the Monday to you, 
rebecca

Swing Dress with Double Layer

Advantages: i recently bought a lavender pastel shell top from H&M because I thought maybe i had evolved from my unhealthy dress obsession and could just buy a shirt. but, no, no i have not evolved. and i have also not worn the shirt. but this is kind of like that top in dress form and i love it and i am probably going to buy it as soon as i finish typing this. so i guess i am saying the advantage is, once you put it on, you are dressed! because you know, it's a dress.

Disadvantages: they call this green so i'm worried what the color will look like in person. 

By the Balance Tank Dress

Advantages: it's mint for realzies. 

Disadvantages: it's from Tobi. and i bought a purple blazer from them one time that proceeded to rip at both elbows. and when i told them they asked me to send a picture. so i sent them this ghastly thing where i look like the damn joker. 

so when they finally believed me, i returned it for a new one and that one ripped at the elbows too. and then, my brother-in-law told me i must have really weirdly shaped elbows. and that was pretty rude.

full disclosure though, that brand was Audrey 3 + 1 and this dress is not. 

Happy Friday Party People, 
rebecca

Cape Sleeve Silk Wrap Dress

Advantages:
[note: read advantages in this voice]
are you human, or are you dancer? if you are dancer, you need this dress and the ventilation it allows your armpits.  you can twist and shout and do the Cupid Shuffle and teach me how to douggie and YMCA without worrying about those embarrassing armpit stains.  remember, a lady never goes out in public with discolored underarms.

Disadvantages: guaranteed rebecca is watching that Coke video and thinking about how she can drink more Coke now because it's good for you. oh, sorry.  disadvantage to the dress? your armpits are showing.  (awkwardddddd).

Chiffon Wrap Dress with Cutout Shoulder

Advantages: same same same it's the SAME THING except its missing a bow, which you could easily DIY.

Disadvantages: your armpits are still showing, and remember, a lady never wears polyester in public.

cheerio,

jean

Bindaas Silk Kaftan Dress with Placement Print

Advantages: i'm going to Belize soon (i almost called humble brag on myself and then i realized this is just straight-up bragging. sorry i'm not sorry) and this dress would be perfect. i know this doesn't apply to you but surely you are going somewhere that you could wear this. like your bed? i bet you are going there soon. and it looks really comfortable. 

Disadvantages: if i buy this i'll have to hitch hike to belize and get a second job. and i can only think of two professions that involve hitch hiking. professional murderer and professional hooker. and that wasn't really the career path i had in mind when i co-founded this blog.

Advantages: i don't have to hook or hike or murder! but i also don't get the Winter Kate. you know life is full of compromises. 

Disadvantages: i'm still too cheap to buy this. so, if you are like me and you wan't something that costs less than a tank of gas, see below. jean has something similar to this and it's super cute on her, as seen here on our Instagram page. 

Asos Chiffon Dress with Crochet Trim

love, 
rebecca

Two-Toned Plisse Dress 

Advantages: two-toned sherbet that twirls. there is nothing better in the world.  except maybe two-toned sherbet that twirls that is edible.  show me the edible version of this dress and i will show you my boobs.  sorry, i just watched Gossip Girl and there was a lot of prostitutuion going on so it's top of mind. not that i'm a prostitute or anything, i just love a good sherbet and would apparently expose myself for a taste of this dress.

Disadvantages: i love this dress, i do.  but there might be a circus going on underneath it.  i can't look at it without picturing a giant red squeaky nose and oversized floppy red shoes, and maybe some cotton candy on a stick and flaming hoola hoops. i can't take it seriously. (all that + now i'm a prostitute).  

ASOS Wrap Dress

Advantages: one-toned sherbet that twirls.  really, all you're missing here is the orange flavor, and do you really want to pay $174 for the color of a shitty spray tan? i didn't think so.

Disadvantages: on second thought, it's also missing: quality fabric, a pretty back (see below), tiny spaghetti straps, and that lovely feeling you get knowing you're not wearing cheap-looking polyester.  sigh.

xo, jean